How To Build Self Confidence Quickly

Feeling a little unsure of yourself? Nervous? Suffering negative thoughts, self doubt and low self esteem? If so, it sounds like you need to get self confidence quickly.

All of us, at some time or other, lack self confidence, doubt ourselves or suffer negative thoughts. Even the most successful suffer from a lack of self-confidence from time to time. But why? And what can be done about it?

"Self-confidence is a natural and in-built characteristic which all of us possess, just look at the youngest children and their incredible zest for life for evidence. Yet, from a young age, we're regularly subjected to judgments, expectations, negative thoughts and criticism (as well as love, praise and affection) from our parents, siblings, carers, teachers and peers. We're encouraged to try to please and accede to the demands of these significant others in our lives and we are educated away from listening to our own hearts, instincts or even our own personal 'gut feelings.'

Unfortunately we are being asked to achieve the impossible because the external demands placed upon us continually change from one moment to the next. Invariably feelings of not being worthy and not being good enough start to dominate, and we internalise those feelings as being who we really are. Lack of self-confidence is a direct result of this resistant thinking and limiting belief system.

The voice in our heads gets louder. A voice that belongs to our own Inner Judge who keeps putting us down ... "I can't do this" ... "I'll never meet that deadline" ... "I am not good enough" ... "They won't like me" ...

We assume that this is how it must be and no matter how bad it makes us feel, we accept our self imposed limitations and struggle on. We compare ourselves to the most successful and conclude that our Inner Judge is right.

Yet all the while, deep within us, there is a nagging feeling that reminds us ... "I am capable of so much more" ... "I am free to choose how I live my life" ... "I do have an awful lot to offer" ... "I can be happy" ... This is a glimpse of the real you, the self-confident you. Even on a cloudy day the sun continues to shine brightly, and to boost your self-confidence you just need to gradually remove the clouds of resistance that have gathered before you.

So what are the most practical steps that will give your self-confidence a much-needed boost?

"How to Build Self-Confidence in 10 Simple Steps"

The steps recommended are:

Accept Where You Are Today
Take Total Responsibility For Where You Are - Stop Blaming Others
Be Honest About How You Feel and Identify Your Negative Feelings
Reach For A More Positive Feeling By Experimenting With More Positive Thoughts
Be Specific About What You Do Want
Try to Focus Your Undivided Attention On What You Do Want
Develop An 'I CAN' Attitude
Believe In Your Worthiness And Value and Ignore Old Judgments Made By You or Others
Monitor Your Progress By Checking In With Your Feelings
Congratulate Yourself On The Progress You Have Made - Repeat The Process

The cause of your self-confidence issue is: Your Belief System

The tools to boost your self-confidence are: Your Desire/Your Focus/Your Belief System

The measure of increasing self-confidence is: Your Feelings

Your next steps

To start you on the best path to boost your self-confidence:

Be honest with yourself about where your most important self-confidence issues lie right now
Try to identify the limiting belief that lies behind your lack of self-confidence
Remain determined to change for the better
Find a programme and participate with like-minded people to open yourself to positive change and share your growth experience with others travelling on a similar journey

Positive change can only be experienced after you make a decision to change.

Johnny Frankland - Self Confidence Coach

[http://www.boost-your-self-confidence.com/10Steps]

Helping you to identify and release the resistance that is blocking the full expression of your natural self confidence - no matter what your self confidence issue might be.

Visit the link above NOW to take the first step to realising your full potential.

Self Confidence - Release Your Energy to Overcome Fears and Doubt

What is self confidence? One of my colleagues once asked me how they could get self-confidence and always have an endless supply to call on whenever needed.

Have you ever had the opportunity to take a look at yourself in a full length mirror? Did you feel a bit of shyness? Did you feel uncomfortable at the thought of looking at yourself? Some of you may find yourself not proud of who you are or maybe you feel you could carry yourself better.

Whatever your situation is you need to take time for "you" and learn to boost your self worth or self esteem. It is important for you to appreciate your strengths and uniqueness. Wouldn't it be great to master these skills and then be able to help others become more confident?

Being discontent with your self image can often show that you have no self confidence. For most people it is important when others have faith in each of us but if you lack self-confidence in yourself how can you expect others to continue having faith in you.

To illustrate our point - Two women are chosen candidates for a job interview. During the interview process one exudes poise and self assurance, while the other is nervous and unsure of herself. Most employers look for candidates who boost confidence. In this scenario who do you think the successful candidate was? Do we really need to ask?

Why is self confidence often equated with effectiveness? A person who demonstrates confidence usually shows a large degree of certainty in his/her decision making ability. This level of certainty directs others to put their confidence on this person's judgment.

With all other points of view being equal, people who have a high level of self confidence are more likely to be successful. Confidence gives them the energy to overcome fears, opposition and setbacks that can come up against the best of plans.

It is equally as important to find out the different cases which weaken self-confidence. Those of you who may be trapped in an environment which fosters negativity and allows constant criticism become disheartened and discouraged. An embarrassing circumstance can suck the confidence out of a person.

The best part in all of this is confidence is something that can be learned and that learning needs to start now.

If you have enjoyed this article by Carl Tambeau, please visit http://manageyourbodyandmind.com where you will find other related information for your reading pleasure.

20 Sure Fire Ways to Boost Self Confidence

We are not born with the self confidence gene. It is a character trait we develop as we grow and mature.

Our level of self confidence is related to our level of self esteem. It is the difference between whether we soar like eagles or huddle like turkeys.

A healthy dose of self confidence increases your opportunities for success, improves your relationships on a business level as well as a personal level and makes you a better person to be around.

Like many aspects of life, we choose whether we want to live a fulfilling, confident, and happy existence or live in perpetual fear of failure, clinging on to what little self esteem we possess.

If you feel you could do with a shot of self confidence, here are 20 powerful tips to boost your confidence.

1. Take control

Take control of your life rather than letting it control you. Self confident people call the shots in their own lives and don't allow minor set-backs to fill them with doubt.

2. Accept responsibility

Self confident people accept responsibility for their lives and actions. Allowing yourself to constantly play the "victim" is self-defeating and limiting.

3. Maintain balance

People who are self confident are balanced in their approach to life, business, and love.

4. Positive self-talk

Become your own best friend. Don't allow the voice in your head to berate or belittle you. Convert your thoughts into positive, constructive and kind words of wisdom and understanding.

5. Abandon 'shoulds, musts, and ought tos'

Allowing yourself to be dominated by "shoulds, musts and ought tos" is setting yourself up for failure. Be more flexible in your approach and state what you WANT to achieve, not what you SHOULD achieve.

6. Learn from mistakes

Accept that everyone makes mistakes. Learn from your mistakes so that they don't re-occur and don't allow mistakes to override your life.

7. Be assertive rather than aggressive

Being assertive is saying, "This is what I would like to have," rather than, "This is what I want and I want it right now." Self confident people are considerate of other's feelings and try not to trample on toes.

8. Speak with moderation

People who lack self esteem often speak quickly to get the words out so they don't waste other's valuable time. Do yourself some justice and speak with moderation of speed and moderation of tone. People will listen.

9. Walk tall

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to spot someone with low self esteem? Their body language tells you so. To feel more confident, walk with confidence. Stretch out your body, straighten you back, hold your head up and walk with a confident stride.

10. Dress to impress

In the same way you notice people without confidence by their body language, you also notice their attire. You cannot feel confident if your clothes look like they came from the nearest dumpster. Take pride in your appearance and you will take pride in yourself.

11. Calm the critic

Many people wrongly believe they can boost their own self esteem by belittling and criticizing others. It's amazing how a few kind and thoughtful words to another can make you feel good about yourself.

12. Don't be judgmental

As human beings, we all pass judgment on others, but that judgment needn't be harsh or critical. Sure, make a judgment call but don't allow that judgment to envelop you and dictate how you will relate to others. Simply note the judgment and move on.

13. Listen and look

People with good self confidence skills listen attentively when others are speaking. People with low self esteem "hear" rather than "listen" (there is a BIG difference!) Watch people's faces as they speak to you and take note of their expressions. They are conveying a message that's important to them.

14. Be authentic

Understand that the person you are is real and authentic. Don't attempt to be someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Take pleasure and comfort in being exactly who you are.

15. Say "why not" instead of "why"

Boosting your self confidence often requires that you step outside your comfort zone. Instead of asking "why?" ask "why not?" The opportunities that arise when you say "why not" can often far outweigh the risks.

16. Negotiate rather than negate

A difference of opinion or a misunderstanding does not have to end in an all-out brawl. Employ a self confident approach by negotiating a tense situation rather than arguing and fighting needlessly.

17. Embrace change

People who lack self confidence fear change. Remind yourself that change is a part of life and that the outcome of most change is positive. Embrace the joy and sense of achievement you'll feel when you have stepped outside your comfort zone.

18. Be honest

Being honest with yourself and those around you can be very rewarding. Being honest with yourself is accepting who you are - faults and all. Being honest with others is a confidence boost because it instills trust.

19. Share

Share your thoughts, feelings, opinions, weaknesses and strengths with others. They'll admire and respect you for it.

20. Imagine

Imagination is one of our most cherished possessions. Allow yourself to "think outside the box" and there's no telling where your imagination can take you. Imagine you are the person you want to be and choose to realize that vision.

Which one of these tips will you add into your life to boost your confidence? Make a list and begin adding them one a time.

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Building Self-Confidence: How to Initiate a Virtuous Cycle

It's no secret that self-confidence is very important to achieving success in any area of life. The thing about self-confidence is that it is very sensitive to our personal experience and is inherently instable. In other words, your self-confidence has a "snowball affect." And it can snowball in a positive direction or it can snowball in a negative direction. Here's how it works:

How the "Negative Snowball" works

If you start out with low self-confidence (see below to learn more about how this happens), you're less likely to take on challenges or try new things.On the rare occasion that you try to accomplish something, your low self-confidence can sabotage your efforts and you're much less likely to succeed.Your lack of accomplishment and your failures reinforce your low self-confidence.Then it's back to step 1 and the cycle repeats; limiting your ability to live a better life.

How the "Positive Snowball" works

If you have self-confidence, you're more likely to attempt just about anything, so you try more things. And when you attempt something with confidence in your abilities, you're very likely to succeed.As a result, your success increases your self-confidence.Return to step 1 and repeat, and repeat, and repeat until you reach your full potential!

Wearing a Groove in Your Brain

At the risk of over-simplifying a phenomenally complex process, what's happening in your brain is that these snowball cycles "wear a groove" through the vast array of neurons and synapses. So, neurologically you are physically carving a path of least resistance through your brain. With enough reinforcement, you develop a reflex to certain kinds of stimuli.

For example, if a smoker tries to quit smoking and fails - and he allows a negative snowball cycle to take place - he'll lose confidence in his ability to quit. And he'll eventually develop a negative reflex to the idea of quitting. Once that happens, if anyone suggests that he quit or someone offers a new way to try to quit, his brain will automatically reject the possibility. In his brain, the mere suggestion of quitting will trigger an impulse that will follow that well-worn path of least resistance; the path that equates "trying to quit" with "failure."

But this works the other way, too. A positive snowball cycle will wear a groove that creates a positive reflex. We've all known people like this. They're the ones who are eager to try anything and seem to succeed at everything. And in the rare occasions when they fail, they are undeterred. The positive reflex they've created in their brain allows them to learn from their mistakes and equate "failure" with "I'll do even better next time!"

How Does the Low Self-Confidence Cycle Start?

Unfortunately, virtually everyone has been programmed from childhood with negatives that make us believe we can't do things that we are innately capable of doing. A lot of it is self-imposed programming. If we fail to do something perfectly the first time we try it, it is only human nature to begin to believe that we can't do it.

We also receive negative programming from others that can greatly impact our self-confidence. We are told repeatedly as a child "You can't do this" or "You'll never be able to do that." If we accept this programming - which, again, is only human nature - our self-confidence is weakened accordingly.

Take a moment now to think back on your own life. Think about the things that you've been led to believe you cannot attain but that you know intellectually are entirely possible. It could be anything; a certain level of income; academic achievement; great athletic performance; success at love, etc. If you're like most people, it won't take long to come up with a sizable list.

Fortunately, when some people are told they can't do something, they refuse to accept that programming and go on to prove that they indeed can. For example;

Beethoven's teacher said he was hopeless as a composer.Thomas Edison's teachers said he was too stupid to learn anythingLeo Tolstoy, the author of War & Peace, was told he couldn't learnAlbert Einstein did not speak until he was 4, didn't read until he was 7. His teacher called him mentally slow. One of the early teachers of the great opera singer Enrico Caruso said he had no voice at all & could not sing.

There are many other examples, but the point is that each and every one of us has given up on at least one thing because we lacked the confidence to try! And the world has undoubtedly been robbed of the great contributions of countless gifted people because of such negativity.

The good news is that a negative self-confidence cycle is completely reversible! You can learn how to eliminate existing negative thought reflexes and replace them with positive thought reflexes. By mastering a few easy techniques you'll be able to recognize and reject negative programming before you allow it to begin to erode your confidence.

There are dozens of techniques to help you build your self-confidence and self-esteem. These include:

Positive AffirmationsGuided VisualizationMental ImageryGoal-Oriented MeditationBreathing TechniquesSubliminal ProgrammingWhole-Brain Learning

Here's one simple technique you can start using today that will help you initiate a virtuous cycle of improved self-confidence.

Using Positive Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence

Positive Affirmations are carefully-worded positive statements that you repeat to yourself and are designed to establish new thinking patterns in your mind. Using affirmations is a very effective way to build self-confidence. It seems simple - and initially it can actually be a little uncomfortable - but remember, what you're trying to do is to wear a new groove in your brain. You're trying to create a new path of least resistance and establish a positive reflex in your mind. And the best way to create a new reflex is through repetition of positive thoughts, images and feelings.

At the end of this article, I've included a small handful of powerful affirmations for you to begin using today. The way to use affirmations is to repeat the statements to yourself (out loud or silently). When you repeat an affirmation, feel it, believe it, and know it! Put some positive emotion into it. Emotion-backed programming is the most powerful and long lasting. Allow yourself to experience the feelings of joy, satisfaction, power and self-confidence as you do each affirmation. Make each one a true part of your reality.

Use your favorite affirmations routinely throughout the day, and really feel them. When you do you will eventually make a quantum leap. You will suddenly be far beyond the doubts that accompany wishing, hoping, daydreaming, and even believing. You will enter the zone of knowing.

When you enter the zone of knowing, supreme self-confidence is automatically there. All doubt is gone. You know you can do it. You know it will happen, just as surely as if it had already happened. And quite likely at some dimension it has happened - for you! When you enter the zone of knowing, your self-confidence is unshakable and your untapped potential is released. You feel invincible!

Another great way to use affirmations is to say them while looking in a mirror. Say them with feeling and soon you'll become aware of how powerful your eyes are. It's said that the eyes are the windows of the soul. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that each of us carries in our eyes the exact indication of our rank. We send messages with our eyes that show how we think of ourselves and how self-confident we are. And that influences how others respond to us. The more our eyes bespeak self-confidence and self-esteem, the more other people are likely to hold us in high esteem. Some people have developed a penetrating gaze that makes it seem as if they can look into your very soul. As you practice your affirmations in the mirror, you'll see this in your own eyes and soon others will feel the confidence that you project.

Sample Affirmations

I now free myself from false limits
I choose to be self-confident
I now feel self-confident
I radiate self-confidence
I reject negativity at all levels of consciousness
I love turning negatives into positives
The more positive I am, the more confident I am
I now think as a positive person
I breath as a positive person
I feel positive and confident
I am intelligent
I am capable
I speak with self-confidence
My body language projects self-confidence
People sense my self-confidence, which gives them confidence in me
I am positive and confident
I'm becoming aware of my true potential
I enjoy being positive
Being positive builds my self-confidence
I feel positive and confident
I am positive and confident

Start Today

There are many other powerful techniques that you can use to improve your self-confidence and build your self-esteem. But this will get you started in the right direction.

The most important thing to remember is that repetition and positive emotions are critical to changing the way you think. While it's possible to do this on your own, most people need a defined program for the direction and support they need to commit to a change.

Many people find that listening to audio programs (like those available at http://www.efflearn.com) is the best way to provide the consistency that's needed to develop new, healthy, positive thought habits. In addition to Positive Affirmations, the best audio programs will incorporate a variety of techniques including guided visualizations, mental imagery, goal-oriented meditation, subliminal programming, whole-brain learning, and more.

So, employ whatever resources you need to commit to improving your self-confidence. Whether it's an audio program or help from your friends, family or therapist - your self-confidence is too important to allow it to wither away. Be confident that you can improve your confidence and it will change your life.

Copyright © 2005 Jeff Griswold, Effective Learning Systems, Inc.

About the Author:

Jeff Griswold is the President of Effective Learning Systems, Inc. (http://www.efflearn.com/selfesteem.php), the leading creator of audio CDs and tapes for helping you build self-esteem and self-confidence. With over 100 titles available, their programs are the bestselling self-improvement audio programs in national bookstores - including Barnes & Noble and Borders - and have been for over 20 years.

Jeff can be reached at griswold@efflearn.com or 952-943-1660. To request a free copy of ?The Greatest Thing You?ll Ever Learn,? a 24-page report showing you how you can harness the unlimited power within yourself to achieve your full potential, go to: http://www.efflearn.com/best-thing.php

How to Get Self-Confidence From Within - The Power of Mediation

If you want to feel more confident in yourself, there are a number of things that you can do, ranging from dressing for success to role-playing to practice your social skills. However, while such tactics can help you to feel better in some social situations, and certainly can help to improve your confidence to some extent, lasting self-confidence comes from within, which means you need to change your self-concept to one of a truly confident person.

This basically means changing your mindset, and replacing your old self-concept with a new one. Our images of ourselves are usually formed in childhood, and as a result many adults' confidence levels are affected by old limiting beliefs that they don't even know that they have. The way to develop a genuinely confident mindset that isn't dependent on the situation in which you find yourself is to replace these beliefs with new, more empowering alternatives.

This means reprogramming your subconscious mind. It is old beliefs stored in the self-conscious that affect how we see and feel about ourselves. Various methods may be used to accomplish this, including things like hypnosis. Perhaps the easiest method to use at home however, is to combine meditation with visualisation.

When you enter a meditative state, your brain slows down, and your conscious thoughts become less dominant, or quieten down altogether. Once you enter this kind of deep relaxation, you can more powerfully visualise yourself as the confident person you want to be. This doesn't just mean seeing visual imagery in your head, but rather capturing the 'feeling place' of confidence, and imagining how you'll react in situations that currently cause you anxiety. Visualisation is most effective when all of the senses are employed.

With regular practice, visualisation can be extremely effective in helping to change your beliefs about yourself, and thus the way you feel about yourself too.

However, some people find it difficult to meditate and relax enough to visualise effectively. This is unsurprising, as most people in Western society haven't been taught to meditate or to value such mind control skills. Fortunately, a solution is at hand in the form of brainwave entrainment, which can help anybody learn to relax deeply and quiet their minds without having to spend years learning conventional meditation techniques.

Brainwave entrainment involves listening to a recording which features repetitive sounds of specific frequencies. Thanks to the 'frequency following response' - a natural phenomenon in which your brain tends to match the frequency of the sounds it's hearing - you'll find it easier to enter a meditative state and your visualisations will become much more powerful.

The amount of time it takes to change your self-image and increase your confidence using meditation and visualisation varies from person to person. With daily practice however, you may experience improvements in a matter of weeks, or even less in some cases. This is a small-time investment really, when you consider that your new confidence will last a lifetime.

If you decide to take advantage of the power of brainwave entrainment meditation to become more confident, you must get a high quality recording that was designed for that purpose, otherwise you might just be wasting your time. I suggest having a look out the 'Confidence Builder' recordings from http://www.brain-sync.com where free samples are available, and the tracks are fully guaranteed.

Loren Mann is an experienced 'explorer of consciousness' who enjoys writing about self-development topics and sharing helpful, high quality resources, and may receive compensation as a result of making these recommendations.

Improving Self Confidence is Not As Hard As You Thought it Was

We could all do with some improving self confidence tips in this modern world if we are to survive but some have more of this unique behavior than others and this is why some sail through life while others are left at the road side. Having great self confidence can literally mean a wealthy life style or a not so well off lifestyle depending on how you look at it. You see, most of what people have in their lives was either given to them from generous relatives or they made it themselves and they certainly didn't get to where they are by shying away from everything which has been thrown at them in life. This is why learning how to develop self confidence early on in life is a must if you want to succeed.

Improving self confidence is probably one of the main goals of almost everyone you know. We're not all actors, we cant get up on stage and perform in form of thousands of people at a time but then again we don't really need the massive amount of confidence which is required to perform such a feat, we only need a little to get us through life. By having just enough self confidence, we can literally changer our world; we can get everything we want in life and a lot more. The only limit for someone with good self confidence is his own imagination.

Some say that you cant just get self confidence but you must have been brought up a certain way to acquire it. This isn't really true as many people who had no confidence in the past have acquired great confidence within only a couple of months. It all depends on how you go about it. Some will pay a small fortune to a hypnotherapist or take a confidence course just so they can give a speech at a work function while others will seek out other methods such as NLP via subliminal messages which you can listen to as mp3s or on CD. These self hypnosis confidence audio tracks have positive messages embedded within and this is how you can change your behavior without spending too much time or money.

Improving self confidence through subliminal CDs is quite common these days. Many actors and sport personalities use subliminal messages to improve their skills every day. So if famous personalities are using subliminal messages to change their lives then why not you. They are relatively cheap to buy and only take a few weeks to make a difference. You don't have to wait for them to arrive in the post as all you need to do is download them instantly to your computer and then transfer then to your mp3 player, it couldn't be simpler. Within only ten days, you should notice a major boost to your self confidence and this in turn will have a major positive effect on other areas of your life.

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Goal Setting Mastery - How Goal Getting Boosts Self-Confidence

One thing that almost no one knows about goal setting is that it really improves your self-confidence.

By setting goals, and measuring your achievement of those goals, you will be able to see what you have accomplished and what you are capable of.

DEFINED: Self-Confidence

Did you know that there are two possible definitions of self-confidence?

1. A realistic confidence in one's own judgement, ability, etc.

2. Excessive or inflated confidence in one's own judgment, ability, etc.

Which definition is correct? Well, it depends. If being 'realistic' means you dream small and you never go outside your comfort zone, then go for #2. If being 'excessively' confident means that you consistently make BIG promises but don't deliver, then you need a bit more of #1.

In my experience, it's better to err on the side of being overconfident. You'll be surprised at what you are really capable of.

You are capable of great things. Do you know where the greatest buried treasure lies? What if I told you that it's within driving distance from your home, and I could tell you exactly where it is?

The thing is, it's not some pirate's bounty, or some ancient gold. Sorry to disappoint you, but it's not going to make you rich either. The greatest buried treasure can be found at your local cemetery.

There lies all the unfulfilled potential, dreams, ideas, inventions and desires of everyone who felt that they had nothing to give. Are you going to be one of them?

More inspirational articles and posts like "Goal Setting Mastery - How Goal Getting Boosts Self-Confidence" can be found at http://www.thadbong.com/ together with his latest thoughts on personal development and growth. Updated daily from Mondays to Thursdays.

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